


hey love, things keep falling

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, shut up....., this is the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 10:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: “Why did this plan have to work?” Aaron asks miserably. He curls his arms around Robert’s waist, fingers tangling in the back of his shirt, and holds on as tight as he can. If it were up to him, he’d never let go. “Every single one of your plans have failed, but the one- the one that means I’m going to lose you, it works.”“Sod’s law, isn’t it,” Robert says. He rests his cheek on the top of Aaron’s head as his arms wind around his shoulders, pulling him in just as tight. They stay like that for minutes, hours, days – it doesn’t matter. The clock stops ticking and the world stops spinning, and all that matters isAaron-and-Robert-Robert-and-Aaron. Just the two of them. “I’m going to miss you so much.”





	hey love, things keep falling

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what this is. i don't know when it's set, or when they'd have the opportunity to talk it out like this. i don't know many things anymore, but i wanted to write this for you all.
> 
> let's just say robert, in the unlikely event, gets bail, and goes back to the mill. i don't know, i'm too busy crying to think logically
> 
> i just want to thank all of you for every single view, comment and kudos you've ever left me. you'll never know how much all of your kind words mean to me. you'll never realise how happy it made me to know that people were enjoying my fic. you'll never know how much it lifted me up to receive all of the lovely comments about what i wrote. i love you all so much, and i really appreciate your support over the last three years.
> 
> thank you xxx

"I did this," Robert starts, then pauses. He puts his hands on the table, palms up – a surrender. A white flag. When he looks up, his eyes are shining, lashes leaving wet paths as they sweep against his cheeks. "For you. All for you."

Aaron feels the anger swelling in his chest, growing bigger and bigger until there’s room for nothing else. He can’t breathe, he’s choking on it, but at least it’s better than the awful indescribable sadness that’s usually making a home there.

“All for me,” Aaron repeats lowly, curling his fingers into fists. He keeps his hands hidden, in his lap, because he doesn’t want to make things worse (if that was even _possible_). “You did it all for me? What – turning yourself into the police, knowing you’re going to spend decades behind bars? Missing out on seeing Seb and Liv grow up, only getting out when they’ve got families of their own? Taking yourself _away from me_–– you’re supposed to love me, and you did this _all for me_.”

“You know why,” Robert says, reaching across the table. He’s changing his tactics, tone bleeding into begging, but that’s not enough to make Aaron understand. He’s not sure he ever will. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, somewhere in the French countryside, just the two of us. But you wouldn’t be happy, would you? You couldn’t have survived not seeing Liv anymore, or not ever meeting the baby! I did what I had to, Aaron.” 

“I was ready to give that all up for you!” Aaron says. He pushes the chair away from the table and the wooden leg lets out an awful screeching noise when it scrapes across the floor, cutting through the tense silence between them sickeningly. “Why would any of that matter if I haven’t got you by my side? You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted a family with, Robert – you can’t leave me to build that by myself!” 

He stands and turns his back, can’t bear to look at Robert’s face anymore. He’ll probably crack, break down and forgive Robert for everything, but that’s not what he wants _or_ needs. He needs answers, and he needs them now.

“We’ve already built that, Aaron,” Robert says. He’d sound calm if it wasn’t for the wobble in his voice, the way it threatens to crack. “Don’t you get it? We’ve had years, so many happy years and we built a family, and now- now you get to see it thrive. You can carry on, be the best brother to Liv and the best dad to Seb. Make sure they know everything about me. You’re the lucky one, Aaron, because you get to stick around and see them.” 

“But what if I don’t _want_ that?” Aaron counters. He turns around, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, and stares at Robert. He means every word he’s saying. “I only want that if I get to have it with you, and you can’t take that choice away from me!”

“I already have,” Robert says gently. He stands and rounds the table, taking careful, hesitant steps until he’s barely five inches away, and takes Aaron’s hands into his own. His grip is loose enough that Aaron can pull away, but he doesn’t. The touch is like a lifeline. “I promised you that you’d be able to live your best life – and that’s what I’ve given you. This is the best you can get now, and you deserve that from me.” 

“I’ll wait for you,” Aaron says desperately, stepping closer until their chests are flush. He squeezes Robert’s hands even tighter, and he can taste the saltiness of his own tears, but he just lifts his chin defiantly. “However long it takes, I will wait for you.” 

“Okay,” Robert agrees, but he sounds amused. They both know that it will be years, mostly likely decades, and it’s not a promise – but Aaron knows he’ll never love anyone else like he loves Robert. That’s a once in a lifetime kind of thing. “Guess I’ll wait for you, too.” 

Aaron lets out a laugh, but it’s sad and broken and awfully choked off, and he pulls one of his hands away so he can wipe away the tears that are coming thick and fast now. Robert is staring at him, eyes wide like he’s trying to commit every detail to memory, mouth twisted down at the corners.

“Why did this plan have to work?” Aaron asks miserably. He curls his arms around Robert’s waist, fingers tangling in the back of his shirt, and holds on as tight as he can. If it were up to him, he’d never let go. “Every single one of your plans have failed, but the one- the one that means I’m going to lose you, it works.”

“Sod’s law, isn’t it,” Robert says. He rests his cheek on the top of Aaron’s head as his arms wind around his shoulders, pulling him in just as tight. They stay like that for minutes, hours, days – it doesn’t matter. The clock stops ticking and the world stops spinning, and all that matters is _Aaron-and-Robert-Robert-and-Aaron_. Just the two of them. “I’m going to miss you so much.” 

“I’m going to miss you too,” Aaron says, letting out a shuddery breath. He buries his nose into the hollow of Robert’s throat, where the scent of his aftershave is strongest. Spicy, smoky oak, and then something that’s intrinsically _Robert_. “Is this- is this goodbye?” 

“_No_,” Robert says fiercely. He pulls back from the hug to hold Aaron at arms length, touch still gentle but mouth in a tight line as he tracks every movement on his face. “I’m not saying goodbye to you. This isn’t over, okay? Me and you – we’ll never be over. If you still want me when I come out, then I’ll be here in a heartbeat, still in love with you, still wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise you that.”

“Then I guess it’s just… see you later,” Aaron says, although it’s a struggle to get the words out. His throat feels tight, and he curls his fingers even tighter, wanting to press bruises into Robert’s skin. Permanent marks, so he can’t forget. “I love you so much. I’ll love you forever.”

“I love you too,” Robert says, and then his facade cracks and a stray tear slides down his cheek. He doesn’t move to wipe it away, and Aaron knows that it’s because he doesn’t want to let go. He doesn’t want to stop touching Aaron, because for all they’ve tried – this will be the last time. This is the final act. “Always.” 

Aaron’s not the smartest of people, but he does know one thing for certain: after everything they’ve been through, prison will _not_ be the thing that tears them apart completely. 

And when Robert tilts their foreheads together, he doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t move when Robert’s hand cups his cheek, thumb brushing every single tear off of his skin as they fall. He stays still when Robert closes his eyes, devastation written all over his face.

He only moves when Robert finally kisses him, fitting their mouths together with ease, years of practice. He only moves to kiss him back, desperately, despairingly, trying to say every single word he’s thinking. He can’t get it all out, can’t articulate it, because the words would never, ever be enough.

_I love you._

_I’m sorry._

_I didn’t regret a single second of it._

_You’re everything to me._

_This will never be over._

_Nobody else comes close._

_I love you I love you I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [aarobron](https://aarobron.tumblr.com/) xo


End file.
